


Cattle Call

by phdmama



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 02:37:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7872730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phdmama/pseuds/phdmama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This had to have been the weirdest casting call Louis's ever been on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cattle Call

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by this submission to srslycris on Tumblr: https://tmblr.co/ZhcxWv2BDwEsx. It's basically free flow, no editing, obviously not beta'd etc. It definitely needs another part, but I'm tired and need to go to bed!
> 
> As always, kudos and comments truly make my day! :)
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at phd-mama! Think I've finally settled on an AO3 name!!

“What the fuck did you just say, Ben?”

Louis sat up from where he had been lying on the couch, watching Friends reruns and balancing a beer on his belly. He cursed briefly, grabbing the bottle to keep it from dumping all over him, and stared at his phone for a moment, before holding it back up to his ear, unsure if he’d actually just heard the words he thought he’d heard come from his agent’s mouth.

“I said,” Louis could almost hear the eye roll in Ben’s voice, “It’s a casting call for a boyfriend for some closeted pop star who doesn’t want to be closeted anymore.”

“But…” Louis sputtered, “That’s not how…is that even how that works?” He was fairly new to LA and the entertainment industry in general, but he was pretty sure there weren’t, you know, general casting calls for that kind of role.

“Not usually, no, and this one is invite-only. Apparently this kid saw you on “Chasing Pavements” and thought you were…” Ben’s voice trailed off in a snicker, “…talented.”

Louis huffed a laugh in spite of himself, “You know my ass brings all the boys to the yard, Bennie.”

Ben snorted in reply, and Louis could hear papers rustling in the background. “So, the call is for Saturday morning, 10 am, at the Sony lot, what do you think?”

“What exactly is the job?” Louis asked cautiously.

“They’re looking for a 3 month commitment with the possibility of extensions depending on how it all goes, you know.”

Louis made a silent grimace to express his distaste for the PR game of Hollywood. “Yeah, I know.”

“It’s the usual for this kinda thing, some pap walks, some dates, some SM interaction, get everyone buzzing…”

“So organic,” Louis muttered.

“Shut up, Lou, this is the game, you can play it or not. I’d just like to remind you that you got passed over for _Old Glory_ , you got passed over for _Terminal_ and we gotta get your name out there! You’ve always been out, so it’s not gonna be a reach for anyone if you start hanging a bit with this kid.”

Louis frowned at the reminders of his recent casting failures, rubbed the bridge of his nose in annoyance, and sighed. “Yeah, okay, I’ll go to the call. Fuck, given my luck lately, I won’t even get a call back.”  He paused for a moment, thinking carefully, “What should I wear?”

“Lou. He saw you on Pavements.”

Louis laughed, “Yeah, okay, twink it is!”

As he fell asleep that night, Louis realized that he had never actually asked Ben which closeted pop star he was auditioning for.

When Saturday morning arrived, Louis actually felt some butterflies in his stomach. He had gone over his outfit with Caroline, the stylist Ben liked using, the night before, and she had given him very strict instructions not only on what to wear, but how to do his hair, and just about everything else. “TEXT ME PHOTOS LOUIS, BY 8:30 OR BY GOD I WILL SHOW UP AT YOUR DOOR.” He’d done so as requested, figuring no one deserved the wrath of Caroline at 8:30 on a Saturday morning. 

“Who even has a casting call on a Saturday morning?” he grumbled to himself, taking one last look the mirror. He was wearing a white t-shirt with bold red stripes, a blue blazer with the sleeves rolled up, and skinny khakis from a couple of years ago that he’d somehow managed to squeeze himself into. He’d rolled the ankles, and classic brogues completed the look. He’d shaved carefully, and styled his hair down, with his fringe waving off to the side. He tucked the white silk square into the breast pocket of the blazer, gave his hair one last fluff, and grabbed his things to head out to wait for his Uber.

When he got to the Sony lot, the security guard checked his ID against a list on his clipboard, and muttered something into the walkie talkie, waving Louis towards a building in the distance.

“3rd building on the left, they’ll check you in there and tell you where to go. Good luck, kid.”

Louis smiled his thanks, having always held the philosophy that it was a good idea to be kind to everyone you came in contact with (which wasn’t really that hard to do), and headed down the road.

He entered the nondescript building, showed his ID again and was directed to a waiting room. When he entered the room, he stopped in amazement, staring at the group of men filling the space. They were, he had to admit, one of the most attractive groups of men he’d ever encountered, and it was a bit overwhelming to take in all at once. He glanced around, wondering about the odds of going home with anyone’s number.Given the interested once-overs he was receiving, he had to admit it looked pretty good. _So not an entire waste of a Saturday morning_ , he thought happily as he headed over to the guy who seemed to be in charge. He was the only one carrying a clip-board, at least.

“Hi, I’m Louis Tomlinson, Ben Winston is my agent?”

The man with the clipboard frowned at his list, and then his face cleared, “Oh yes, there you are! Ben has spoked so highly of you!” Louis stared at him, perplexed. “We’re really looking for someone special for this project, you know?”

“So, uh, yeah, about that…” Louis started. 

Ben had explained that even he didn’t know exactly who the singer was, though he’d heard some rumors. The singer’s team was trying to keep the whole thing very much on the DL, in order to boost the pull when the rumors started. “Given that there are about 3 or 4 guys with albums rumored to drop in the next 3 months, I’m betting it’s one of them.” Even when Louis had pressed him to speculate, he’d demurred, finally saying, “Christ, Louis, have a little patience, you’ve only got to wait two more days!” When Louis had expressed concern that he might not find the guy attractive, Ben had stared at him, baffled. “What the hell does that have to do with it? You’re an actor. This is an ACTING job, Louis, for which you will, I might add, be very highly compensated”.”

“Well,” Louis continued, watching the, he had to admit, really attractive man gaze back at him, a small smile playing around his mouth as if he knew exactly what Louis was about to ask, “So, yeah, who is this for?”

The man grinned, as if Louis had just fulfilled his expectations, “Can’t tell you that, mate! You’ll see soon enough. We’re just waiting on two more guys, and then we’ll get going.”

About 10 minutes later, the man headed towards the receptionist desk and clapped twice to get everyone’s attention. Louis, who had been making eyes at an adorable blonde, blue-eyed man with the cutest Irish accent (Louis was, he had to admit, very very easy for accents), turned in annoyance before remember that this wasn’t actually a speed dating event, but was an audition.

“Gentlemen, thank you all for being here. I know it’s a bit early for a Saturday morning in Hollywood, but Ha…our project lead is in New York, he’s got a…very important gig tonight. Here’s how it’s going to work!I’m going to divide you all into about 6 smaller groups, and each group will head into the conference room. There will be a few folks there who will ask you some questions, and then you can be on your with our thanks and a generous gift basket,” Louis snorted at that, this was already the weirdest audition he’d ever been on. “We’ll be calling your agent later this afternoon with our final decision, so the process will move very quickly.”

Louis waited patiently in his group with the other men, who included the blonde, named Niall it turned out, as well as 3 other men, one of whom had that whole bear look going on, one of whom was clearly styling himself as hot young executive (and was quite possibly the most objectively attractive human being Louis had ever seen, with deep soulful eyes and a gorgeous dark quiff) and one of whom was…Louis’s jaw dropped, “Oh my god, you’re Liam Payne! What the hell are you doing here?! You’re on that vampire show on the CW, aren’t you?”

Liam smiled and grimaced at the same time, “Yeah, well, apparently I’m not testing all that well, so my team is trying to figure out how to up my profile, you know? Apparently, it’s” he made scare quotes, “‘super-on-trend to be gay, Liam, and since you ARE ANYWAY!’” his voice trailed off. 

Louis nodded in sympathy, “I hear you mate, it’s a tough world out there. You’re talented though, you really are!” There was an awkward pause, and Louis could tell that Liam wasn’t sure if he should ask Louis what he was in, but before it went on to long, the Most Attractive Human Ever said in a voice that managed to be somewhat high-pitched and husky at the same time, “He’s right, yeah? You’re…you’re good.”

Louis saw the eyes of the two men meet, and hold…and hold…and hold. He gave a small, internal squeal of delight, and then said loudly, “I didn’t catch your name?” to the MAHE.The other men both jumped, and Louis watched in fascination as a blush spread over Liam’s cheeks, but before the other man could answer, their group number was called.

Louis walked into the room with the other men following him closely, having learned that it was best to be first or last, and he never liked to go last. He stopped and stared. There was a table set up with four or five individuals sitting behind it all along one side, and grouped in front of it were chairs for the men auditioning. He shook his head, and muttered, “this really has to be the weirdest audition EVER,” laughing as Liam elbowed him in amusement.

The folks sitting behind the table introduced themselves by name only, with no explanation of who they were, how they were connected to this project, or why they were even there at all.“I’m James.” “I’m Lou.” “I’m Julian.” “I’m Sandy.” “and I’m Simon Cowell.” said the last man, who was seated a bit separate from the other four. “Now, if you’d all introduce yourselves, and tell us a little bit about yourself, and then we’ll be asking some questions. When we’ve heard enough from you, we’ll let you know, and you can leave by way of the door to the left, over there.”

And so, each of the men introduced themselves. The bear introduced himself as Phil, and the MAHE said “M’name is Zayn, I’m really more of a singer than an actor. I love R&B, riding motorcycles, and smoking weed.”

Louis’s jaw dropped, and he thought that had to have been either the ballsiest move ever, or this guy really, really did not want this job. When he noticed Zayn slipping Liam a small piece of paper, it became clearer.

Before Liam could introduce himself, Simon spoke up, “Thank you, Zayn, I think that’s all we need from you this morning.” Zayn smiled easily, dropped his hand briefly onto Liam’s shoulder and squeezed, and then sauntered out the door, still looking more attractive than any one man had a right to, really.

Liam cleared his throat, “Yeah, so, I’m Liam Payne, I’ve been on _Night Life_ for two years, and I really love surfing, making music, and, err, hanging out with my friends…” his voice trailed off as his nerve seemed to break, and then he added, “uh, smoking weed.”

Simon frowned at him. “Why do I think you’re not taking this opportunity seriously, Mr. Payne?”

Liam started at him for a moment, and then burst out laughing, “Because I think I just got a better offer, Mr. Cowell.” He stood up, smiled at the rest of them, handed Louis a card and said “Text me, okay? I think we should hang out.” What even? Bemused, Louis tucked the card into his wallet, and waited.

After Niall’s rambling introduction, which included an ode to some sushi he’d had the night before, Louis took a deep breath.

“My name is Louis Tomlinson, and I’ve only been here in LA for about 6 months. Before that I was doing theater in New York, and before that, I was on a couple of shows in London.” It suddenly struck him that 4 of the 5 men in their little group were from the UK, and his mind began to turn over possibilities.Was it a UK artist who wanted to come out? Louis had to admit, he really didn’t follow pop music at all, so names readily jumped to his mind. “It’d be cool to get to spend some time back in England,” he thought to himself.

“Well,” said Simon, “Since we’re down to the three of you, we’ll get right to it. We’re looking for a companion for our singer, someone who’s fun and nice, or at least plays that way on TV.” Simon smirked and Louis fought down an unfamiliar urge to smack that smirk right off of his face. “Our singer is eager to be out, and would like there to be a spark. So, now I’ll turn it over to the panel. Questions, please?”  
  
The questions then came fast and furious, including their favorite kind of fruit, “Peaches!” Niall had shouted, “No, wait, apples! No, wait, I really love berries!”

Lou held up her hand, laughing, and said “no worries, Niall, it’s great that you love so many kinds of fruit.”

After about 20 minutes, there was a pause, and then Simon asked the men to step back to the door, so the panel could consult. Louis rolled his eyes at the formality of it all. “Project” and “panel” and “consult.” _Ridiculous!_

As the three men stood, Niall’s phone buzzed as a text came in, and he pulled it out. His face lit up, and he grinned and showed it to Louis. The name at the top was “Scooter” and the text simply said, “Gomez’s team thinks it’s a great idea, you’re in.” Niall stuck the phone back in his pocket and said quietly to Louis, “That’s the other PR relationship I’m up for, and I actually think she’s hot!” 

“Wait,” Louis stared at him, dumbfounded, “are you even gay?!”

“Nah,” Niall laughed, “I’m, you know, a bit flexible after a couple of pints, but I just need a job! I had a few pop hits back in the UK, and then me label dropped me, so we’re looking to get a bit of a buzz going so I can start shopping around for a new label back home in London. I heard that this singer was English, so I figured, why the hell not, and got Scooter to get me in to the call.”

Louis shook his head in admiration, loving the fact that Niall was so unabashedly himself. 

“So,” Niall continued, “hand over your phone, I’m gonna text you later, and we’re going out for beers!”

Shaking his head, Louis did as Niall asked, and waved to him as Niall headed over to the panel, who were still talking intently in low voices. Louis heard his voice ring out over the murmur, “‘Scuse me, sorry to interrupt, but I’m gonna have to head out! I got another…call back.” He smiled, shook hands all around, and Louis was amazed to see that even with Niall basically blowing off their project, all the faces except Simon’s were open and smiling, calling out “Good luck!” to him as the young man headed out the door. Louis hoped he’d get his generous gift basket.

He and Phil glanced at each other. “What do you think?” Phil asked.

Louis shrugged, “I dunno, mate, I guess it just depends if he wants a bear or a twink.”

Phil grinned, “I totally agree. I think it’s gonna be twink, myself.”

Louis raised one eyebrow. “Oh? Why’s that?”

Phil shrugged. “He’s a pop star. By definition, he’s gonna be a clean cut pretty boy. Not that I don’t like those, of course, but if this is him coming out, whoever he is, they’re gonna want someone pretty and unthreatening too. I look too much like I’d be taking him home to tie him up and have my way with him.” He grinned wickedly, and Louis had to admit, that even though bears weren’t his type, this man was pretty darn attractive. “And,” Phil continued, “They wouldn’t be wrong about that.” He winked at Louis.

Louis’s eyes widened, but before he could explore this intriguing statement, Simon cleared his throat. “Thank you both for coming, this will conclude the interview part of the call. Please head out through that door, and you may be hearing from us.” Louis wasn’t sure if he was imagining it, but he felt like Simon’s gaze rested on his face for a bit longer than was really necessary, and he felt a moment of hope. He could really use the job, and it certainly sounded like this pop singer was a big deal - to get an audition on the Sony lot took some pull. He nodded politely, shook everyone’s hands, and headed out.

As he walked out of the building, juggling his generous gift basket, he contemplated getting Phil’s number, but quickly realized it was pointless when, squinting against the bright sunlight, he noticed Phil wrapped around an even larger and hairier man, swallowed up in the other man’s embrace. He gave a silent salute as he headed back down towards the guard gate.

While he waited for his Uber, he found a text from an unknown number, “Heeeeeyyy mate, it’s Niall! PUB TONIGHT. You in? I got Liam and Zayn too!”

Louis texted back a quick thumb’s up, and said “Just tell me when and where, mate.”

So it was, later that evening, that Louis found himself in a booth in some Irish pub in West Hollywood, drinking beers and eating fish and chips with three other men, laughing harder than he had in years. He could feel his cheeks aching, and felt a sudden stab of nostalgia for simpler times, and wondered when these kinds of friendships had slipped away from him? He felt his phone buzzing with an incoming call, and pulled it out, seeing Ben’s name on the screen. Curiously, he answered, straining to hear over the noise of the pub around him.

“Hey, Ben, what’s up?” He suddenly felt concerned, it was 10:30 on a Saturday night, “Is everything okay?”

Ben sounded oddly breathless. “Louis. Lou. Simon’s team just called.  You got the job.”

"What?!" Louis gasped, "Wait a minute, are you serious?"

"Dead serious. They just called. The panel was unanimous, they all think you'll be a 'a great fit' for their pop star. Louis! This is so great, it's just what you need. You're good, you really are, we've just gotta get you back out there."

They talked for a few more moments, and then, right as Louis was hanging up, it hit him.

"Ben! Wait, are you still there? Fuck, don't hang up!"

"What, Louis? I told you, first thing Monday, we'll meet with the lawyers and go over the contracts."

"No, it's just, they never said. Who the hell is it, Ben? Who's the singer?"

Ben laughed, "Wait, they didn't tell you? That's hilarious." He cackled in delight.

"C'mon, who is it? Do I know them?"

"Yeah, I think you do, Louis." Ben's voiced faded out for a moment and then burst back in.

"It's Harry Styles."


End file.
